Pigeons: Zero

They’re baaaccckkk. Long time readers will recall the battle of the Pigeons. Or maybe just MY battle with the pigeons.

OK. Maybe you like birds. I think birds should be living, flying and nesting out in the wild, not in cages. And should certainly not be let out of cage to hop around someone’s living room. A friend did just that some fort… a LONG time ago… and I learned quickly that my body doesn’t like that. I found myself suddenly saying, like Gene Wilder, “Put the birdies back.” So birds outside are fine. Except when they are pigeons who get close enough to coo and disturb my peace.

A while back and in a blog a long time ago two pigeons decided to make a nest in the back courtyard, in a corner of the building near my kitchen window. Drove me crazy. So I hunted all over Paris for a pistolet a eau. Squirt gun. Found one. Used it effectively. Pigeons decided to look elsewhere.

Disclaimer: No pigeon was damaged in this activity. Other than perhaps a minor psychological dent…

Fast forward to this year. Surprisingly, I could not find my squirt gun. Neither here in the apartment nor in the things I left with friends. There were no pigeons around. But. Still. Best to always be prepared, right?

I found a super duper squirt machine gun! Well, not really machine gun but one of those things where you prime the water reservoir and it will let loose a long stream of water. Got two for ten euros at Toys R Us. I don’t need two, obviously. But smart packaging.

And, you guessed it, I have had opportunity to use it. This time the two pigeons (same ones? I dunno) decided to start to make a nest on the window sill across the courtyard from me. It is the sill for the bathroom window and I have only seen it open once so I am sure they thought it was a deserted place and just right for their new home and birthing center.

If only they could have been quieter…

That super duper squirt gun is fantastic! Got them both the first time. They flew off fast! So we had a couple days of them testing me. Nope! Ha! Now it’s been relatively quiet the last few days. I hear them when they sit on the balcony railings of the building across the street. Shrug. The super duper cannot quite make it that far. Close though. I have to check the street below before I try. Don’t want collateral damage…

Just now, however, one decided to check out the sill again. Ha… What’s great about this super duper is that it can send a stream of water across the courtyard with the kitchen window open only 1 inch. I hear the bird, I fill the reservoir in the bathroom, I prime it in the living room. And I stealthily aim it through the already open an inch kitchen window. Bull’s-eye. Got him… her? Oh I hope it was him – don’t want to attack pregnant mothers… But if I have to protect my silence…

No damage done! Except the pigeon got a bit wet and flew off.

If only I could use it on the workers across the street. Their noise is worse than pigeons cooing.


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